Marie Ennis-O’Connor My Story

County Clare-S.W. Ireland–July 20, 2009–I never planned on becoming a breast cancer survivor, because I never planned on having breast cancer. I grew up in Dublin, but now live with my husband in County Clare in the south west of Ireland. Following my diagnosis of breast cancer, I underwent nine months of treatment with surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I have since become a passionate advocate for the best treatment for all women diagnosed with breast cancer, regardless of socio-economic background. I am a PR professional by training and use these skills in my work for a breast cancer patient advocacy group. I am particularly interested in the issues and unique challenges that younger women with breast cancer face in the areas of careers, dating, body image, and fertility. I also write about these issues, along with the latest medical updates and what it means to be a survivor of breast cancer at my blog Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer and I love when others share their personal experiences with me there. I believe that we can learn so much from each other by sharing our stories in this way. I would like to share with you my own story of being a younger woman facing the impact of a diagnosis of cancer on my fertility.

When you are a young woman, breast cancer is the last thing on your mind. I naively believed it only happened to older women. This was four and half years ago, before Kylie Minogue or Christina Applegate were diagnosed and showed the world the face of the young breast cancer survivor. So there I was, 34 years of age, and just about to learn that cancer is no respecter of age. Having recovered after the inital shock of diagnosis, as much as anyone can, I was dealing with it all pretty well I thought – that is until the point where chemotherapy came into the picture. I didn’t worry about losing my hair – ok, I wasn’t looking forward to it exactly, or the nausea or the tiredness, but the fear that I was possibly about to loose my fertility haunted me and as a result I initially fought against having chemotherapy.

Did I have the chemotherapy which, in my case was adjuvant, so no one could say was definitively needed – and thereby face the very real chance of infertility and early menopause? Or did I decide not to have it and then live under the fear that the cancer may come back. Was I being selfish and irresponsible in wanting to preserve my fertility? Would it be fair to have a child if I might die? These were the questions that kept me awake at night and trawling the net during the day, reading about ovarian tissue freezing, egg retrieval and storage – my oncologist didn’t mention this as an option – why? When I asked him, he pointed out that in order to do this, they would have to hyper-stimulate me with hormones and the risk is that those hormones could cause my cancer to grow.

Understandably the focus from the medical profession is on, “well, let’s get your life saved.” In my case, discussion of fertility was not on the table, so I had to fight to bring it there. While my fears were listened to, it all came to nothing in the end. I was given no real alternative to going straight into chemo, do not pass go, do not collect any eggs along the way.

I decided in the end that I owed it to myself to do everything in my power to prevent the cancer recurring. So with a heavy heart I embarked on chemotherapy. It was not an easy decision. During treatment I was haunted by the thoughts of what must be happening to my chances of ever having my own child. When my periods stopped and I went into an early menopause, I continued to search desperately for the stories of women who went on to conceive after chemotherapy. When I found a story, like a forensic detective, I scrutinised every detail of what drugs they were treated with, for how long, what age they were, all in the hope that their story might one day be mine.

As I began the slow recovery from treatment, I watched and waited for the day my period might return. My wait was rewarded and I came out of the menopause and joyously welcomed back my periods. I visited a nutritionist and she recommended I take certain supplements and altered my diet so that I might begin ovulating again.

And then, it happened…. the miracle I had been hoping and praying for. I was overjoyed when I discovered I was pregnant earlier this year with my miracle baby. Sadly, I lost the baby at 10 weeks and while I grieve that loss deeply, I won’t give up hope that the miracle will happen again. I have proved the amazing resilience of the human body and the human spirit. I tell my story here to give other young women hope, because I was not given that same hope when I was newly diagnosed. Since then, I have become a passionate advocate for patient empowerment and believe that we should be able to work with our medical team to make the treatment decisions that are right for us. With, thankfully, more and more of us surviving and living well beyond breast cancer, it is now about the quality of the life we live after our diagnosis of cancer. For many women the ability to have a child after cancer treatment is a large part of moving on. It is important to remember that there are parenthood options available for women with a diagnosis of breast cancer both before and after treatment. It is important to discuss your fertility options with your medical team before starting your cancer treatment. Just knowing you have understood and investigated the options available to you can be very helpful to your emotional and psychological recovery from breast cancer. Most of all it is important to never give up hoping that your dreams can still come true, no matter what those dreams may be.

If you are interested in learning more you can download my brochure Breast Cancer and Fertility, which was written with the help of health care professionals with specialist knowledge. Please click on the link above to view it.
Visit my blog at beyondbreastcancer.wordpress.com

Marie Ennis-O’Connor