Joshua’s story of his mother Christina
When our mom had breast cancer I was really scared she was going to die. I saw my mom struggling. That bothered me. Mom was always in control and it made me nervous to see her struggle so much with something so bad. I had never seen her so weak before. I tried hard to be strong for her. When I was feeling the worst and needed to get my mind off the cancer I would go outside.
I was nervous a lot and so I had to go see the school counselor almost everyday. I didn’t mind that so much because Mrs. Z was always good to me. My brother Micah and I went to a special group for kids whose parents had cancer. Other days I just went to see Mrs. Z because I needed to get away from everyone. Sometimes I just needed to sit and be still. I liked that Mrs. Z let me do that. My teachers worried about me. I just couldn’t concentrate .School was really hard for me too. I spent so much time worrying if my mom was going to die. I couldn’t wait to go home to see my mom, but I was scared to hurry home at the same time because I didn’t know if she was OK. I never knew if she was going to be in the hospital or if she had died while I was in school. My grades dropped for a while too. I just couldn’t think of anything else. I would ask both my Mom and Nana a lot if Mom was going to die.
When Mom’s hair feel out it was hard on me. I hated that part of it. I was embarrassed to. I felt bad about that, but I was shocked to see my mom bald. I didn’t know what my friends would think. Micah was ok with it right away. He liked to rub mom’s head while she slept. Mom wore a wig once, but Micah pulled it off. It was kinda funny. Mom laughed about it but she didn’t wear a wig anymore. Micah was little. He was only 6 years old back then. I was sad when Mom had to have surgery. I hated the days I knew she had to go to the hospital. I cried a lot too. I didn’t want to lose my mom. I loved to climb in bed with her and listen to her sing to me. Snuggling was what made me feel close to her. I never wanted that to end.
The best memory I have, the one thing that really bonded us was the time we spent at Disney World. My Nana and Paw Paw took all of us in June 2006. My Mom, Dad, my brother Micah, my grandparents and me all went together. We had a lot of fun. It was like we took a break from all the chemo and the scary stuff. We laughed, and had so much fun. My mom only got sick a couple times too. We went to make memories. I was 9 then. I am 12 now. I realize now we were there to say goodbye to mom just in case. I didn’t know that then, I do now. I felt like a kid, not a scared kid, but a regular one. No one starred at us. No one looked at us like we were strange. We were a normal happy family, not a cancer family. It was just a little while but it was nice.
Now my life is different. I’m in 6th grade now. I still talk to the counselor sometime. I’m not scared anymore, but I do worry. I don’t want to grow up without my Mom. I want to have her here with me forever. I asked her once why God let this happen to us. Know what she told me? She said that God knew we were strong enough to handle it. So I want to be strong. I walk every year for a cure and I wear pink for my mom. I will always do that. I will always be strong for my Mom.
Joshua
Co-Survivor
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What a sweet story, Joshua! You brought tears to my eyes, but not tears of sadness….I was so proud to hear how well you are doing now and how strong you are. You have a wonderful mom and we all love her very much!
Stay strong!
Love, Kathy Smith
Joshua, you and your brother Micah are the bravest boys I know. I am so proud of your courage. Your kindness and understanding has been my saving grace sweetie. Your words bring tears to my eyes because I watched and I was there beside you during this journey.
Joshua, when my brother had a terminal disease, this prayer really helped me! Hope it works for you! I’m VERY proud of you & your Strength to have Faith! God bless,
Mrs. Cardona
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
–Reinhold Niebuhr
In loving memory of
Fr Bertram Griffin — 1932-2000
Requiescat in Pace
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Joshua,
Your mom is so fortunate to have sons like you and your brother to pray for her and give her courage. Thanks for sharing a piece of your lives with all of us. I will be praying for you and your family.
Mrs. Harris
Dearest Josh,
To me, you have always been just a normal kid dealing with a tough situation.
Want to know a big secret? It took me a long time to remember you were the boy
who was living with a daily worry. That is because you did such a great job at
being a great kid and getting your job done. When I looked out in my class and
saw your face, I saw a face that wanted to learn and was kind to me as I
struggled to make sure everyone was getting it. You always made me happy to
come to school each day. So while you were worried about your mom and had part
of your mind at home, you were still giving me comfort in teaching you and
making me believe you were happy to be in my room learning. That makes you
pretty amazing.
I am very proud to have had you in my class and am grateful for your insight
into what a boy might feel in your situation. Thank you for sharing your
thoughts. I hope I can learn from them to be supportive to those like you that
come through my classes in the future. If there ever is anything I can do to
help you on your journey through learning, let me know.
Mrs. Mateer
dear joshua, i wanted to let you know how proud i am of your strength. Let God continue to strengthen you and give you peace in your heart. You are very courageous by sharing your story and letting a piece of your heart open up for others to see. Your mom is very lucky to have 2 wonderful sons that pray and help keep her fighting on. I love you and your brother and will continue to keep your mom in my prayers. Let God continue to bless you all.
love,
aunt michelle rock
Joshua,
Hopefully as times get tougher, you will look back on these words of wisdom and remember them for when you will need them most. Stay strong for your mother. You’ve already shown her that you are mature beyond your years and that will comfort her. As a parent I watched my wife’s toughest days be lightened by the laughter and smiles of our children. It makes her so happy that her illness did not take away from the normal life of her children.
Blessings to you and your family. Make sure you give love to your father and your mother’s parents as they need you just as much as your mother but in different ways.
Erik
http://route53.wordpress.com
Joshua,
Your story brought tears to my eyes of sadness and joy. It saddens me that Christina and the rest of the family had to experience the pain caused by cancer, but it brings a family even closer than they ever could be. I have joy that the family is still in tact. Christina has touched so many people in her life and is an amazing human being. I do not know if I could be as strong as she has been throughout it all. You have so much courage to help your mother get through her fight with cancer. Having you as a son is what kept her strong.
Gina
Joshua,
You are an amazing son.. you brought tears to my eyes.. they were good tears though.. seeing your strength and reading about your weak moments.. your mom is so proud of you and your brother and her love for you both shines through her words.Your mom is an amazing person and I feel honored in getting the chance to know her.. only if by her entries..Keep up your strength and Keep on keeping the faith..
many hugs to you..
Kelly
Joshua,
I am so proud of you and how you were able to cope through the hard times. I know you love your Mom so much, so do I. I love you too!
Nana
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