As women we all have scars, both physical and emotional...

Most of us tend to hide them away out of sight from the rest of the world. Usually we do a pretty good job of it too.

It doesn’t matter how big or small our scars may be, we simply don’t want the world to see our imperfections.

As mothers, wives, sisters we just don’t want to appear to be weak, too emotional or unable to carry the world on our shoulders. We are women after all! So we cover up our worries, our pain and yes even our scars. So why would any of that change just because we are now Breast Cancer Survivors, right? If I give any woman advice it would be this:

Don’t try and be Wonder Woman! It is a definite trap. Trust me on this…

My battle breast cancer has been a journey. Sometimes I have taken to the pathed road and other times I have chosen the path less beaten. The bottom line is I have chosen my own way of dealing with the beast.

Personally speaking, I have been forthright when needed. I have also done my best to be as open and honest as possible with my friends and family. But I have also hidden my deepest fears away so not to burden those who cannot handle the thought of what lies beneath the surface. I have kept myself from being overly exposed while keeping this part of my heart, my soul and my body closed to all but a select few.

As I have traveled this path ( believe me there are many different detours that one can travel down) I have formed many dear friendships…

I have come to know many women who have won, some who are still fighting and sadly many who have lost their own fight with this cancer. Some have been completely open books and others have been more private with their struggles. I can vividly picture these brave , bold women in my mind who have had the courage to live with the truth of breast cancer.

These women, survivors and fighters alike are beautiful, loved women comfortable with their scars even if they have not been comfortable exposing them.

Who are these women?

They are:

• Old
• Young
• Wives
• Sisters
• Mothers

…and grandmothers a like.

Even those who have gone on before us are survivors. These women are my heroes. The truth is this; they all have had to live and yes, to die with these shared scars.

So this is my advice to you, one sister in arms to another… the scars that Breast Cancer leaves behind you will be completely altering, dark, and bigger than life. Your scars will go everywhere with you..

There will be no hiding your scars in the morning..

• When you wake up
• When you shower
• Face the mirror

…and when you go to bed at night.

Honestly, there are going to be times you will just want to give up and give in. Truthfully some nights you may just want the darkness to take you.

But listen to me and take this to heart my friend: when the pain is blinding and it will be let me assure you, do not turn your back on the sunrise…

Yes, I have been there.

I have felt abandoned and fearful.

I have struggled with pulling myself up and out of bed.

I have wanted to just forget the fight, sink deep inside my own prison, throw away the keys and stay there indefinitely.

I have dressed myself every morning looking at the mirror in front of me while cringing at my Frankenstein breasts. I have truly wanted to run out of the house, pulling at my hair while screaming down the street at those moments. But the truth is those crazy moments have strengthened me.

My scars are not pretty actually sometimes they are down right ugly…

But I have learned to accept my journey and cancer’s keen ability at challenging my mortality. When it comes to our scars well they are terrible, absolutely. They can be cruel and constant reminders of our greatest moment of devastation. Yet they are also reminders of our souls ability to endure the beast, to pull ourselves up and out of the pit.

Sure to some we may appear left bruised and stitched together woman.

But are we really ashamed of our bodies, our fight or our scars? No not at all!

Looking back I would say that my scars have freed me to live unafraid of tomorrow. Of course it only took 35 years of trying to crawl out and breast cancer to finally be comfortable in my own skin! It wasn’t easy and it won’t be easy for you either, but we all get there.

These scars of mine? Those scars of yours? Well they are visual reminders of our dance with the beast. When all is said and done my friend we are both Survivors!

Christina Dowling Olachia